


Your Friends Are Problematic

by 96percentdone (Nakanaide)



Series: Kamukura Izuru vs The World [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Hinata and Kamukura are brothers, I hope, Izuru Has Emotions, Kamukura spends his life trolling okay, but I recommend it anyway, hikiNEET Kamukura, it's funnier than it sounds, that's just what he does, you don't really HAVE to read the first one to get this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-14 23:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8033959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakanaide/pseuds/96percentdone
Summary: "…..What the fuck is this, is his first thought. Kamukura wasn’t sure what he was expecting to see when he walked in the room, but this wasn’t it. He could only stand there from outside the entryway, staring at the sight."
In which Kamukura is minding his own business trying to troll people, and Hinata and his friends are playing Mario Party in the other room. They're very loud, and Kamukura doesn't appreciate it. At all. Chaos ensues.





	Your Friends Are Problematic

_Date: July 27 2014_

Today is a beautiful day, or so Kamukura guessed. Truth be told he didn’t go outside; he couldn’t even see outside with the shades blocking all light from the window. Quite frankly it could be hailing outside for all he knows, but it didn’t matter. Today is a beautiful day for trolling, and you didn’t need to go outside for that.

And the best part about today, truly the very best part, is the silence. Ever since Hinata invited that literal cloud of a man over, he’s been feeling more inclined to bringing his friends over. Truth be told Kamukura didn’t really mind if it was _just_ Komaeda, but his other friends were notoriously loud.

But it appeared that if Hinata did have people over today (Kamukura didn’t bother to check), they were the quiet type. Which was perfect. Silence allows him to focus on writing extremely long dissertations about why your favourite is problematic. Silence is the key to successful trolling.

Yes, today truly is beautiful--

“You _mother FUCKER!_ How the fuck did you manage to land on the fucking lucky space, when it’s only your first fucking turn?!?!”

Oh no. Not this. The sheer volume and copious use of the word fuck could only mean one thing: Kuzuryuu was here. The smallest, and angriest of all of Hinata’s friends was in his house _right now._

Any dreams of silence Kamukura once had were instantly thrown out the window. Kuzuryuu, from what Kamukura could tell, had next to no temper control. This was especially apparent if he was playing video games, because there’s nothing more rage inducing than multiplayer gaming.

Kamukura sighed. Oh well, it’s just Kuzuryuu, right? Or at least, he hopes it’s just Kuzuryuu. Kamukura could live if it’s just Kuzuryuu. He may be loud but Kamukura’s amazingly high quality headphones should be able to tune him out. He could work with this.

_Now, where was I? Oh yes, ‘No amount of traumatic backstory can justify repeatedly attempting to destroy the world—‘_

A scream breached the running YouTube commentary playing through his headphones, rattling the endless pile of empty bags of chips in the corner. _Oh god why,_ Kamukura groaned internally. _Not him, too._

“Argh, why do I have to be stuck with you on this mini-game?! Your luck is just gonna screw us both over!! _Especially me!!! **And I’m already in dead last!**_ ”

This was the worst. Not only was the temperamental tsundere here, but the shrieking shark was here too. And judging from his complaints, Komaeda was here too. Kamukura had yet to figure out why his brother thought it was a good idea keeping Komaeda and Souda in the same room, but he did know he was going to completely suffer as a result.

Kamukura groaned and turned up the volume. _I can make this work._

* * *

_I can’t live like this. How am I supposed to do anything with this level of noise?_ It’s been two hours since the game presumably begun, and the volume had only gone up.

“The amount of fucking stars you have should be illegal! How in the flying fuck did you fucking manage to get _10 fucking stars_ in only 15 turns?!”

“Hey Hinata, is Komaeda cheating because there’s no way that can be right… right?”

Just a constant stream of loud dialogue--

“Ahaha, Souda-kun I really wouldn’t know how to cheat in this game--”

Interrupting Kamukura’s concentration--

“Hey fashion disaster, you and me gotta team up to kick Komaeda’s ass, alright? Hinata you too! At this point I’d be content so long as Komaeda doesn’t fucking win--!”

_That’s it!_ Kamukura tore the headphones from his ears. He didn’t like leaving his room, especially to go speak to someone, but this level of noise, _needed_ to stop _._ Hopefully, this wouldn’t take much work. He’d just walk in, tell them all to seriously tone it down, and come back and write his unwanted paper in relative peace. This can’t be too hard, right? _It’s not like I’ll have to stick around._

With that, Kamukura rose from his chair, and strode out the door into the living area.

_…..What the fuck is this,_ is his first thought. Kamukura wasn’t sure what he was expecting to see when he walked in the room, but this wasn’t it. He could only stand there from outside the entryway, staring at the sight.

Kuzuryuu was practically standing on the table, which was shoved _far_ too close to the TV, screaming “If a fucking coconut hits me one more god damn time I am going to fucking **_break this god damn television!_** ”

Souda was lying on the floor, sprawled out in defeat, controller discarded elsewhere, and were those… tears? “I can’t do it, man. I can’t play the chimp game. You’ll have to do it without me,” He moaned.

Komaeda was the most collected of the bunch, almost frighteningly so. He sat still on the couch, focusing as best he could on the minigame, letting out a quiet “oh I was so close that time too,” before being wrecked by 7 different coconuts.

As for his brother, Hinata was too busy struggling to keep it together to fully focus on the game. From trying to calm down Kuzuryuu to trying to convince Souda to sit on the sofa like a normal person, he appeared to have his hands full.

Kamukura was so dumbstruck by the sight, that for a moment he completely forgot why he came down here in the first place. In fact he just stood there, staring in silence, until Hinata called out. “Izuru? What are you doing down here? Did you need something?”

Hinata’s remark caught everyone’s attention, and they all turned to face him. Souda even sat up to do it. Kamukura shook out of his stupor. “You’re loud. I can’t concentrate.”

“Ah sorry Kamukura-san. I’m afraid we all got rather excited while playing this game,” Komaeda laughed.

“Just keep it down,” Kamukura responded. _That should do it._ He turned to leave, when suddenly.

“Hey wait, why don’t you play?” Kuzuryuu asked. “Maybe you can kick Komaeda’s ass!”

_Oh please no._ “Kuzuryuu, I don’t think Izuru really wants to stick around—” Hinata tried to reason with him, to no avail.

Souda cuts in enthusiastically: “Hey yeah! Maybe what we need is someone entirely different to finish the game!”

“Guys, I really don’t think we should drag him into this—” Hinata called out, desperately hoping someone would listen to him.

“I wouldn’t mind facing off against Kamukura-san,” Komaeda commented, which only seemed to make Kuzuryuu and Souda more determined.

“Hinata, it’s just the last turn. This is the final minigame. It’s our final chance at beating Komaeda!” Kuzuryuu shouted, Souda nodding enthusiastically in the background.

Hinata sighed, resigned. “Look, it’s the last minigame. It won’t kill you, right?” Hinata asked. _Et tu, Brute? Really?_

Kamukura was just about ready to walk away regardless when Souda thrust a controller in his hand, and pulled him to the couch. “You can leave after you play it.”

“Hey wait Souda isn’t that _my_ controller?” Hinata asked, annoyed. “Why am I the one being swapped out?”

While Souda and Hinata bickered in the background, Komaeda turned to Kamukura and cheerfully spoke, “May the best man win.”

“I didn’t sign up for this shit” Kamukura grumbled, begrudgingly wielding Hinata’s controller.

“Okay enough fuckin practice mode,” Kuzuryuu declared. “It’s time for the real thing. Are you ready?”

_No,_ Kamukura thought to himself sarcastically as everyone else responded with yes. “Just hit play.” And with that, it begun.

* * *

The minigame ended shortly and decisively. Komaeda was completely destroyed, although he was completely happy. “I’ve never met anyone with such immense talent before! You really are something special,” he giggled.

“I’m aware. Can I go now? _”_ He’s done his part, right? He can write that essay now, right?

“Hell no!” Souda yelled. “We need a guy with your skills to take on Komaeda!”

“Didn’t I just do that?” Kamukura asked. _I just want to go back to my room. Leaving the room was a mistake._

“You did, but Komaeda still ultimately won that game of Mario Party. And you’ve clearly got the skills to kick his ass when we play smash next.” Kuzuryuu answered.

“It’ll be fun Kamukura-san!” Komaeda insisted with glee, and it was clear in that moment that they would not be letting Kamukura leave their presence until they themselves left.

Kamukura sighed, “Hajime.”

“Yeah?” Hinata answered.

“I hate your friends.”

**Author's Note:**

> So what if it's been a literal year since I've last updated; I haven't forgotten about this. It just took me a LONG time to figure out where I wanted to go next. A really long time.
> 
> Good news is I have an idea about what to do next so? Maybe I won't take another year? Who knooowwssss~ but I'll try.


End file.
